Question: “Corban, I heard you have quite a story to tell. Do you mind sharing it with me?”

“Well, I grew up in an Adventist home with several brothers and sisters, and attended church regularly. But I was never interested in learning Bible stories or knowing anything. I really didn’t care, but I had the notion that since God loved me, I was saved regardless.

I went to public school and since all my friends hung out on Saturdays, going to church just got in the way of what I wanted to do. As I got older, I hung out with friends Friday nights and got picked up to go to church Saturday mornings - which always felt boring because this took me away from my friends and the stuff they were doing. I just focused on getting out of church and then going to play soccer/football games with my buddies. I kept going to church, but my heart was not in it!

I’ve had bad asthma my whole life, to the point I had to see some specialists. One time they even thought I was having a heart attack because it was so severe (sport-induced asthma). My freshman year of high school was rough because of that, and I had to stop playing football (which was hard for me because I’d played football since first grade). Now I had too much free time and didn’t know what to do with it.

The summer after my freshman year, my friends and I decided to try some alcohol, which was infrequent at first, but we had a lot of fun. So we started partying more, drinking more. I’d stay out all night with friends. When school started again that fall, I partied all weekend. I still went to church on Sabbath morning (all groggy and hung over), but when that was over, I’d go party with my friends again.

I didn’t care. I had it in my mind that because God loved me, I was forgiven (and what I was doing wasn’t really wrong anyway). I focused on living life, being with friends and just having fun – not really thinking about the future. I assumed everything would be fine.

By mid-Junior year, things weren’t going too well. I was really sad because of some illness in the family, and a growing conviction about my actions. Partying more and harder became my escape mode. I didn’t focus on school: only on the next weekend and when I could party next. Eventually I started smoking ‘weed’ as well. That summer, I went to work in the afternoons, and then partying for the rest of the night. I slept a bit in the morning, and then repeated it all over again.

Gradually though, I grew more unsettled and unhappy. My conscience started really bothering me. It got to the point where, when I got up in the morning, I’d immediately start scrolling my phone so I wouldn’t have to look in the mirror. I hated everything about the way I looked, talked, breathed . . . everything. I was not at all happy! Well, sometimes happy for maybe 3 hours of partying, then I wouldn’t remember the rest, and woke up feeling awful.

Just before the end of my Junior year, some friends from the (Christian) Faith Club on my school campus invited me to one of their meetings. I wanted to find new friends, hoping things would be different. The kids I wanted to be friends with were good examples of what a Christian should be like. At the first meeting, they invited me back to their next meeting to hear a guest speaker (in his early 20’s).

So I went and heard him tell his testimony, his conversion story. His history was so similar to mine (except he’d done a lot more drugs). His parents made him go to this Christian thing in Hawaii. While he was there, he thought it was stupid and hated every minute. He didn’t’ want to interact with people there at all, but another girl asked to pray for him, which made him go up to the altar and experience conversion. That started me thinking (at least in the back of my mind).

Some time later, my best friend left the state for a week, and during that time I started to re-think a lot of things because I was lonely and upset at myself for the way I was acting. I struggled with a deep sense of self-hatred because the more I did these things, the more I felt convicted. And I started to think about that guest speaker at the Faith Club more. I asked myself: ‘Am I really happy?’ I started thinking, ‘If nothing changes in a year, I’m done living.’

So I decided to cut down on drinking. At one party, I had the sudden feeling I didn’t want to drink that night. I told them I didn’t want to do it, and then I added sort of unexpectedly, ‘I think I want to be a Christian.’ Of course, all my friends were pretty shocked!

Soon afterwards, I went with a friend on a trip to a lake in Idaho. I took my Bible with me because I was starting to read it a little bit sometimes. There was also no weed available! It was a wonderful week reading the Bible and just hanging out my friend’s family.

After I returned home, I realized I didn’t really crave alcohol anymore. It’s funny, I still wanted to smoke weed. Once a friend offered me enough for a whole month but for whatever reason, I declined instinctively, ‘No, I don’t think I can do that because then I wouldn’t be sober.’ That day the desire just left me, even though I was still around friends who were smoking it.

I wanted to chase God and know what love was. So I started reading the Bible for like an hour a day before going to work. I drank less and less (along with another buddy), and started reading my Bible at parties. At some of these parties were kids that did a lot of drugs - it turned me off and I’d just go out on the porch and read. Gradually, I lost interest in parties and stopped going because there was nothing there for me - I felt out of place although I still loved my friends. It just didn’t seem like it was for me anymore.

I started feeling a lot happier, although I didn’t notice it right away. But I stopped hating myself so much, although I started hating sin more! I continued to go the Faith Club and the morning Bible studies they hosted; I also attended a church called ‘Trinity’ several times, to have more Christian friends. But I did continue to struggle with ‘sin habits’ and trying to become more right with God. I made more Christian friends, and did a lot of reading, Bible study, taking notes, watching sermons, and just spending time with God.”

Question: “What do you think were the major factors influencing this change in your life?”

“I’d say, the kids at the Faith Club: 3 friends in particular that encouraged me to attend their meetings and hear them talk about Jesus and the gospel. They were interested in my life, and weren’t afraid to talk about their own ‘sin struggles.’ They were great role models and I admired their faith a lot. They didn’t need to drink or smoke to be happy or enjoy their evenings. I saw I didn’t need to be living the way I was. It wasn’t instant, but I saw an alternative to ‘fun.’ These friends were public about their faith, but didn’t force it down my throat.

Also, reading my Bible and other spiritual books more, listening to sermons, going to Christian meetings, etc., those things had a great influence on me.”

Question: “So how did your baptism come about?”

“Well, Sabbath morning of this past Campmeeting [2025], I heard pastor Ron Halvorson speak and felt very impressed. I had been doing Bible studies for a year or so and had thought about being baptized for the past several months. But I just felt that now was the time. So I texted Jim Jenkins (who had been my pastor for a lot of years in Bozeman), and asked to be baptized Sabbath afternoon. He made the arrangements and I did it!”

Question: “So what is your experience now, and do you have any plans for the future?”

“I’m glad God’s love isn’t what I thought it was. I had the false notion that I was saved . . . I’m amazed to see how merciful God is . . . and seeing all this lovely change – it’s awesome! I didn’t realize that everyone needs God’s grace, whether you go to church or not. I assumed it was for those who needed grace, and I didn’t think I needed grace as much because I wasn’t doing anything really bad.

Even now after changing so much, I still need His grace every day – it’s not about my performance of ‘good’ days and ‘bad’ days as if some days I need more grace and other days I need less grace. Grace is poured out generously every day because I’m a filthy sinner. On ‘good’ days, God is actually working through me. The ‘bad’ days are just what happens when I’m in charge; but I’m still a sinner, even on the ‘good’ days!

I’m trying to move away from thinking ‘good’ days and ‘bad’ days, or comparing my behavior to other people. If we don’t realize we are sinners and need grace every single day, we’re just being prideful. Josiah Queen (a musical artists) said that pride is the one thing that sticks to you your whole life, and the second you think it’s not there, it’s blinded you! We just pick off the vices we don’t struggle with like someone else, and then think we are better off than them.  Jesus wants us to be more humble and honest about our own sin struggles. Not to tear ourselves down all the time, but to think of ourselves less often. If you just think about others and serve them it’s easier to be humble.

I am a ‘saint’ because of what Christ has done for me, and what He’s doing through me, yet at the exact same time I’m still a sinner. I didn’t become a saint and leave the ‘sinner’ behind. Every day I need God’s grace more than I could know, more than I can understand. Even our good deeds are like filthy rags. Now, I’m trying to respond to God’s voice more, and just do each moment what He calls me to do. Sometimes it’s to go talk or pray with someone – which I don’t always feel like doing – but it’s always rewarding. I just want to live for Him day by day.”